Which animals could Brits beat in a fight?
There are some subject matters that spark a lot of conversation, and rightly or wrongly, the nation’s ability to ‘take on’ animals and win in a one-on-one scrap is one of those topics.
We recently surveyed 2,000 UK adults about this bizarre debate, and the data revealed there are a lot of overly confident people (especially men) out there.
As well as asking about the animals Brits think they could beat in an unarmed wrestle, we also asked about various celebs including the world’s best boxers. Once again, the nation’s confidence in their scrapping skills appear to be alarmingly over-optimistic.
So, without further delay, here come the stats!
Scrap with a small dog? No problem, say Brits.
The majority of Brits (59%) felt confident they could beat at least one type of animal in a fight, in their natural environment.
Small dogs are considered the least ferocious opponents - they may be ‘yappy’, but apparently not-so-scrappy.
Of those who think they could win against a small dog, a third (35%) felt that tackling 2-3 small dogs at once, would still be no issue at all. Bring on the chihuahuas!
Small dogs were followed by cats (watch those claws) in second place, and then rats who landed in third place as the easiest-to-defeat in the animal kingdom.
Swans took fourth place in the poll of animals Brits felt they could beat in a fight. King Charles may have something to say about this though, as he apparently owns all swans on UK waterways.
Making up the top five was the fox, which just over one in ten (11%) are confident they could ‘take on’. The other 89% have probably seen this species rip through their rubbish bags with terrifying ease and know to stay well clear!
The animals that the most Brits reckon they could beat in a fight are…
- Small dog (32%)
- Cat (32%)
- Rat (28%)
- Swan (11%)
- Fox (11%)
- Large dog (6.3%)
- Cow (4.9%)
- Chimpanzee (4.8%)
- Gorilla (3.8%)
- Grizzly bear (3.6%)
Think you can take on a grizzly bear? Think again!
At the bottom end of the table some bigger, more dangerous animals make an appearance – we’re talking gorillas, grizzly bears and even lions and tigers.
While fewer Brits are confident they could win these one-on-one human v animal battles, a worrying number still think they stand a good chance of success.
Around one in twenty-five (seemingly delusional) people think they could take on and beat a gorilla or a grizzly bear (or both) in a fight.
Of those who thought they could beat a grizzly bear, a staggering 40% reckoned they’d be able to take down between 3-5 bears at once, while 8% said they could handle at least 10. Erm….really?
One in ten of the Brits who think they’d win against a gorilla even said that taking down 10 at once would be a piece of cake. Sure, you keep telling yourself that.
Weirdly, Brits seem to be equally as confident in their ability to take on a horse (2.8%), a lion (2.8%) or a large snake (2.8%) unarmed – one in fifty reckon it’d be doable.
One in 40 Brits even think they could beat a tiger in a fight (2.5%).
The animals that the nation feels the least confident about winning against in a scrap are a hippo (just 1.2% thought they could win) and a great white shark (also 1.2%).
Crocodiles and polar bears were also considered too fierce to fight for the vast majority – although one in fifty (2%) still think they’d be in with a chance of stealing victory.
Men are more likely than women to think they can win animal fights.
Maybe this will come as a surprise, maybe it won’t, but men are a lot more confident that they could have a scrap with an animal and win.
A staggering 72% reckon they’d be able to do this (versus 49% of women).
The animals that the most British men reckon they could beat in a fight are…
- Small dog (42%)
- Cat (41%)
- Rat (36%)
- Fox (17%)
- Swan (16%)
- Large dog (10%)
- Chimpanzee (7.8%)
- Cow (6.5%)
- Gorilla (5.2%)
- Grizzly bear (5.1%)
A worryingly one in twenty men (5%) seem to think they could beat a gorilla or a grizzly bear (or both) in a scrap.
Men are also almost three times more likely than women to think they could beat a chimpanzee in a boxing bout (8% v 3%) and they’re four times more likely than women to think they could beat a tiger (4.2% v 1.1%).
Swans get a mention again (sorry Charles) as twice as many men think they could take on a swan (16% versus 7%) than women.
Alongside men, Gen Xers (aged 35-44) came out as the generation that is the most self-assured in their fighting ability.
Tyson Fury? Sure! John Fury? Err… no.
As well as exploring which creatures from within the animal kingdom Brits consider the easiest and fiercest opponents, our survey also explored how the nation thinks it’d do in a bout against some well-known celebs, and even world champion boxers.
Once again, the data shows there are some pretty bullish and overconfident folk out there.
How many Brits think they could beat these celebs and professional boxers in a fight…
- Mark Zuckerberg (18%)
- Elon Musk (17.7%)
- Jeff Bezos (11%)
- Logan Paul (4.8%)
- Anthony Joshua (4.7%)
- Mike Tyson (4.1%)
- Jake Paul (3.7%)
- Tyson Fury (3.4%)
- KSI (3%)
- Conor McGregor (2.6%)
A staggering one in 20 people (5%) think they could beat two-time, former world heavyweight champion, Anthony Joshua in a fight. He may appear calm and charming, but don’t be deceived!
Amusingly, more people think they could beat current world heavyweight champion, Tyson Fury (3%) in a boxing match than his dad, John Fury (2%).
While John did used to be a bare-knuckle fighter and professional boxer, several survey respondents commented that it was John’s ‘unpredictable nature’ and ‘no rules apply attitude’ that would make him a bigger threat than Tyson in the ring.
Around one in five (18%) also think they could beat Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg in a fight, despite him having a blue belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ).
Once again men are around three times more likely to think they could win in a scrap against Zuckerberg, than women (29% versus 10%), although one in ten women still reckon they’d take the title of ‘champion’.
Men are also five times more likely to think they could fight and win against Amazon founder Jeff Bezos, than women (21% versus 4%).
Overall, more people think they could beat Zuckerberg (18%) in a fight than Elon Musk (17%) or Jeff Bezos (11%).
While Elon is rumoured to have trained briefly in BJJ, he doesn't have any belts or medals yet.
Jeff Bezos has no known background in martial arts and combat sports, but former staff have apparently described him as “notoriously confrontational”.
Which UK city is the scrappiest?
Londoners were revealed to be the scrappiest overall, with two thirds (67%) confident they’d be able to beat a dangerous animal in a fight.
Londoners are also the most likely to say they could win against a lion (4.7%) – nearly twice as many as the national average (2.8%)
One in twenty-five London residents (4%) are also certain they could win against former Ultimate Fighting Championship Featherweight and Lightweight Champion, Conor McGregor. Sure… why not!
Brits living in Norwich seem to be the most likely to say they could beat current World Boxing Council heavyweight champion, Tyson Fury though (5.4%)
Glaswegians appear to be the least scrappy, with the majority of residents (54%) saying they don’t think they’d win in a one-on-one wrestle with an animal.
One in 15 people in Edinburgh think they could take on a polar bear and claim victory (6%) – which is three times the national average (1.9%).
While one in 12 people in Belfast think they could win against a kangaroo (8%) – nearly three times the national average (3%).
Our Conclusion
We’re interested to see the nation’s reaction to these new survey stats. Tell us what you think on X, tagging @mrqbingo.
We hope it also goes without saying that fighting any animal should not be attempted – for your safety and theirs. This survey is only meant to spark light-hearted discussion, not action! We support animal welfare.
The same goes for fighting other humans. Leave it to the professionals!
